You're an asshole, but I love you.

This latest single by P!nk is by far the BEST song to describe my feelings for the one man I loved. Seriously, 'at the same time I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck', you and I know that this song is definitely made for me... TO YOU.
This man I loved has an ego the size of the moon, is self-centred and highly judgmental, highly critical of people who don't share the same views as he does. He talks shit about people, laughs at their pronunciation blunders.. but sweetie, yours ain't that hot either. He is sensitive, sweet, lovable and kind. He is in no way a romantic, but tries hard to show some love in his own clumsy, yet endearing ways. He's smart, and funny.. and he's fiercely protective over the people he loves. Even though he doesn't outwardly show it, he cares a whole lot. Sometime he cares too much for his own good.
I loved everything about him; the good, the bad and the nasty. I loved car rides with him where we'd sing tunelessly to the songs on the radio, and talk about important stuff. God knows why, all our important conversations.. good and bad.. had always been in the car. I loved how his beautiful brown eyes sparkle when he's happy, get downcast when he's sad and flares up when he's pissed. I loved how uninhibited he used to be around me.
When it had all been reduced to awkward tension so massive that others could feel it; gazes I'd sometimes catch him throwing my way when I looked across the room (I bet they're of disdain and I-wish-you-would-die kind of stares), and the chatter that I heard about him bitching about me, I loved him. 
Once, a friend asked if I liked him, and  I, without a doubt, declared: No. Because that's the truth. I mean, how the hell can you like a person after all the grief he'd caused you? To be honest, I didn't like him when I first met him, and now it seemed to have come a full circle. But I loved him, and believe me, there is a HUGE difference.
To conclude this ramble, I'm going to say for the 492702957215th time in this post, I loved him. I loved him more than I ever thought I could. He knew it, but unfortunately, I'll never be good enough for him. He also knew that nobody will ever come close to loving him as much as I had. And me? I'm learning to love again, slowly but surely.
"No one else can break my heart like you." ❤